How RA affects my daily life

We’re 12 October 2018 which means it’s world arthritis day! According to this day I decided to share how this chronic illness affects my everyday life. I feel like this disease often gets associated to elderly people and people often don’t believe how hard it actually is to live with it.

First of all I’d like to say that I’m 23 years old now, I only got the diagnosis of RA last year but it’s been going on since I was about 18 year old, so I’d like to give some background information. I started to notice that my joints were quite painful, mostly my back and knees. I used to be quite small as a child and all of a sudden I grew quite quickly so my doctor always said that the pains were just normal growing pains as my body grew too fast at once. I didn’t think much of it and just carried on life like I normally did.

I used to do all kind of sports from gymnastics to swimming. I never really did those sports for a long time except for horse riding. I started this sport when I was about 12 years old I think, absolutely loved it, I was actually looking to get into the professional side of it as the ultimate goal was to reach the Olympics. I had to stop this dream due to the pain I had during and after riding at the age of 18. At that age I also started nursing school, first year everything went well but during my second year my right knee started to swell up and be very painful, I thought it was just because of the internships I was doing, the long hours standing up. I didn’t think much of it until I once knocked my knee against a patients bed and I couldn’t bare the pain, the nurse I was working with told me I really need to see my GP as it might be a nasty infection (I recently had a tattoo done on that place so there’s always a risk).

I went to my GP and he basically immediately referred me to a rheumatologist. So I went and took several tests, I must say I never thought it would be possible to do so many blood tests, MRI’s and x-rays in like a month time. The tests came back and my specialist was sure I had some type of arthritis but he didn’t had a clue of which one yet. I started medications and I was pretty hopeful everything would go back to normal soon. But my body did not respond on any of the medications I was given (we still haven’t found the right ones). In February 2017, I was 21, my body developed another chronic illness, CIDP, due to a medication I was taking for my RA. CIDP is a neurological disorder which targets my body’s nerves, in my case it causes numbness, pain and less strength in my legs, arms and hands. I received plasmapheresis for several months, twice a week.

I’m 23 now and I’m worse than ever.

It’s not only my right knee anymore that’s affected by my RA but also my left knee, both elbows, both wrists, my right thumb (I cannot hold a pen anymore for example), my jaw, my right hip (I actually got the news a few days ago that I’m in need of a new hip, I remind you that I’m only 23) and both ankles. I walk with a cane and going to places, like shopping or going out with friends, isn’t possible anymore as walking and standing up for longer than one minute makes me have an unbearable pain. So for now online shopping is like a lifesaver haha.

I need help for all sorts of things but the thing I struggle with the most is the fact that I need help to get washed and dressed (I also use a bath seat, they’re amazing). It’s humiliating to be honest. I can imagine that it’s already a hard thing to accept when you’re like 80 but being 23 and not being able to do your personal hygiene is very very embarrassing. It’s something I struggle with the most mentally and I still haven’t really accepted it. But I did found a way to make the whole progress of being washed and dressed by someone else less ‘painful’. The music of Twenty One Pilots seem to ease my mind during the whole thing, I can’t really explain how but I did try it with other music and it did not have the same effect. I hope that someday I can thank them even though I don’t know how, it’s not like I could tell them “Hey, your music eases my mind while I have to be washed/cared by my nurse”. It’d freak them out haha.

Another thing I’m kinda embarrassed is to need/use is a raised toilet seat, we have 2 toilets in the house and I decided to only put the raised seat upstairs so that way if guests are around they don’t see the raised seat. A bit silly, I know, as I could use those on both but I still have a hard time accepting needing those sort of things. Due to my RA I also recently got the diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome, I won’t go into that as I really want to focus on RA but I wanted to mention it as it’s very common that most people don’t get diagnosed with just RA but also with other chronic illnesses linked to RA.

The constant pain I’m in makes it very hard to handle everyday life. Getting out of bed is often a big task on it’s own. Getting downstairs involves being very careful to not trip and fall. Getting coffee means hoping there’s some milk already open as I can’t open them myself. Getting in the sofa means making sure I have everything near me first so I don’t have to get up again and risk falling while being alone whist my mum is at work. Getting showered means being washed and dressed by someone else. Having dinner means often that my mum needs to cut my meat into pieces as I can’t do it. Going outside means relying on someone else as I can’t drive at the moment.

Doing normal everyday stuff isn’t normal everyday stuff for me anymore.

This is what it is like to live with RA.

I’m trying to raise some money for my much needed electric wheels for my wheelchair, would you like to donate something or do you feel like sharing it around? please do, click here for the link


Reviewing Netflix serie Insatiable

Insatiable is a Netflix serie which follows Patty, an overweight teen which gets bullied by the people around her. she decides to lose weight and wants to get revenge on everyone who ever made her feel bad about herself by fat-shaming her. Patty meets Bob Armstrong, who has a massive passion for coaching beauty pageant contestants. He’s the only one seeing great potential in Patty and decides to coach her for miss Jesus pageant. But Patty has a lot of anger inside of her and she will do whatever it takes to take revenge to the people she feels have wronged her.

Please note, spoilers ahead

Before I started this series I heard some very mixed opinions about it, from very good ones to people even claiming it’s ‘problematic’.. So I started this series purely because I wanted to see if it’s really that bad and I’m so glad I did because I absolutely loved it. I must admit that the first episode is the worst episode of all, some things that are said are indeed a bit problematic and made me question whether or not I should continue this series but I did as judging by just one episode would be quite unfair. Once you get to episode 2 the series gets so much better and it actually made me laugh out loud several times.

“Being skinny doesn’t mean shit if you’re ugly on the inside”

I saw several people on Twitter complaining saying the series is really offending towards heavier people, I personally strongly disagree. Yes sure the fat suit Debby Ryan (the actress playing Patty) is wearing isn’t very realistic but you see her in that suit for like 15 minutes during the first episode. I don’t think the serie fat shames at all as it’s clear during the several episodes that Patty isn’t happy at all even though she’s thin. She struggles a lot mentally and the road towards the pageant is with a lot of down moments for her, at some point she even relapses into her old eating habits (that part absolutely broke my heart to be honest) so the series really shows that eating disorders are hard to deal with. 

“I just.. Keep wishing I looked perfect.”

This series also handles sexuality very well. For example, Nonnie (Patty’s best friend) is in love with Patty but tries to fight those feelings back and Bob Armstrong (my favourite character) who’s actually married to a woman for years and has children, starts to realize he’s actually bisexual and is falling in love with a man.

I really loved to see the characters develop throughout the series, the drama in it is super high, which I loved, and it’s really hard to stop watching once you’re into it. Please do not stop watching after the first episode as it gets so so much better and I actually can’t wait for season 2.

Have you seen Insatiable? Did you love or hate it? Please let me know your opinion on it!

Céline. ❤

Every Tuesday I’ll be discussing a random book of my Goodreads TBR list. I’ll post the synopsis and why I’ve added it on my list. The real question is, should I read it or just let it go?

35504431Sixteen-year-old Aza never intended to pursue the mystery of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate. So together, they navigate the short distance and broad divides that separate them from Russell Pickett’s son, Davis. Aza is trying. She is trying to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, and maybe even a good detective, while also living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts. In his long-awaited return. (Source)


I’ve put this book in my TBR list as a was a huge fan of The fault in our stars (like most people I guess), I tried John Green’s other books but none spoke to me as much as TFIOS (Looking far Alaska was one of the worst books I have ever read to be honest..) Another reason why I’ve put this book on my TBR is because it handles mental illnesses such as OCD and anxiety and I feel like more books need to handle mental illnesses.

So, did you like it? Should I keep this in my TBR or just get rid of it?

Céline. ❤