Why I decided to start a gofundme

In 2015, while being in nursing school, I started to get the first symptoms of RA.

I had a left swollen knee which was painful to walk on, I thought it was because of the many hours standing up during my internships and it would pass with time.

A few months passed by but the swelling and pain in that knee only got worse.

So I decided to go to my GP, he referred me to a rheumatologist.

After many blood tests, MRI’s and other tests my rheumatologist agreed that I have RA.

At that time I was pretty confident that it was just a case of starting medications and I’ll be able to just continue with my life as I was before..

But things turned out very differently.

In 2016 my symptoms got worse, not only my left knee was swollen but also my right thumb which made it harder for me to write.

Internships were harder and harder for me to do because of the pain, I had a lot of times that I just hid myself in the toilets as I just broke down because of the pain.

It came to the point that I couldn’t finish my last internship, luckily the school I was at was very understanding and let me to graduate and fulfill my ambitions of becoming a nurse.

In the summer of 2016 I got surgery on my left knee as an attempt to reduce the swelling, which unfortunately didn’t help.

We’re 3 years down the line since my diagnosis and we still haven’t found any medications that help me with my RA.

Also to make things worse, at the end of 2016 beginning of 2017 I also got diagnosed with CIDP (Chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy)

which causes me to have less strength in my legs, hands and arms, it also causes numbness and loss of my reflexes.

Because of my RA and CIDP my health went downhill quite quickly in 2017 till now. I currently walk with a walking stick but it came to the point that I unfortunately need a wheelchair.

I can’t walk or stand on my legs long anymore without having a lot of pain and my knees really struggle with keeping me upright.

I also need help when I shower/wash my hair/get dressed. I sometimes even need help to get out of bed.
Most of my joints (both knees, both wrists, right thumb, both elbows, both ankles and hips) are always swollen and painful, which makes it very hard and painful to be mobile. My organs, such as my heart, and muscles are slowly but surely getting problems too.

I have luck with the fact the government have agreed with giving me a custom wheelchair for free, which I’m obviously very thankful for.

But it’s impossible for me to push myself because of my lack of strength (due to my CIDP) and because of the swollen and very painful joints in my hands and elbows.

Therefor I need special electric wheels (Wheeldrive, see picture) to put on my manual wheelchair so I don’t need to push myself.

Long story short, I cannot use the wheelchair without those special wheels..

Those wheels cost normally over €6000 but the government pays a part of it which is great but I still need to pay some of it myself, which is why I’m doing this.

Being able to have those wheels means I’ll also be able to study again (as nursing isn’t something I’ll be able to do anymore) and look for a job that suits me.

It’ll also mean I’ll be able to go more outside again and see my friends, go to the zoo, go to the shops… Things which I have struggled with for months as walking is just too painful.

it’ll basically mean I’ll be able to have some of my freedom back.

Do you feel like donating something (no matter how small, every euro/dollar/pound counts) or do you want to share my Gofundme on social media? Click here for the link

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Walking alpacas with Alpacaly Ever After!

It all started with me and my boyfriend planning a trip to The Lake District, we were going to spend 4 days and 3 nights there so we were looking for stuff to do. I had a look on TripAdvisor for ideas and then I saw it.. Walking alpacas. I always had a soft spot for alpacas, I think they’re super cute and very loving animals.

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So we booked a private walk for 2 which allowed us to walk one alpaca each for about 1h30 (you’re allowed to bring one extra person for free), the private walk was £65. Note that you have all different walks, for example you have mixed group walks which are £30 for the same amount of time. We just decided to have a private walk as I’m disabled and their website recommend it that way

All our private walks can be adapted for wheelchair users and mixed ability walkers, please just inform us of your requirements prior to your walk. (Source)

On the day of the walk the weather was unfortunately not great, it was raining on and off so we were scared the walk would be cancelled but in the early morning we got a lovely message from Ruby our guide saying they’re expecting us at the time we booked. Alpacaly ever after is located at The Lingholm Estate on the Western Shore of Derwentwater, on other words the location is absolutely wonderful and very peaceful. The Lingholm Estate is always open for public, the alpacas are held on private grounds so at first you can’t tell at all that there are alpacas.

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When it was time for our walk we met our lovely guide, Ruby, she took us to the alpacas and told us that we’re going to walk Jasper and Hobbs. Now it’s important to say that I’m disabled and have to walk with a cane, so I didn’t really knew how it would go. But I got Jasper, a beautiful long haired brown alpaca, to walk with as our guide told us he’s a very calm alpaca and wouldn’t drag me anywhere. My boyfriend got Hobbs a lovely white alpaca that also clearly loved eating grass 😀 . The walk is on private grounds so you don’t really see people, unless there are other people having a walk as well, which is great as it’s just so calm and you don’t get interrupted. The guide gives some great information too, not only about alpacas but also about the Lake District and the grounds as Beatrix Potter used to stay there for her holidays and even wrote one of her books there.

It’s safe to say that we absolutely loved the walk. At the end of the walk you get to feed the alpacas you’ve been walking too which is really nice. We agreed that it’s totally worth the price, it may seem expensive at first as you don’t really know what to expect but it’s really worth it without a doubt.

If you’re at The Lakes I really recommend this! It’s so good and as soon as it was over I told my boyfriend I wanted to come back as soon as we can.

Click here to have a look at their website!


Céline. ❤

Reviewing Netflix serie Insatiable

Insatiable is a Netflix serie which follows Patty, an overweight teen which gets bullied by the people around her. she decides to lose weight and wants to get revenge on everyone who ever made her feel bad about herself by fat-shaming her. Patty meets Bob Armstrong, who has a massive passion for coaching beauty pageant contestants. He’s the only one seeing great potential in Patty and decides to coach her for miss Jesus pageant. But Patty has a lot of anger inside of her and she will do whatever it takes to take revenge to the people she feels have wronged her.

Please note, spoilers ahead

Before I started this series I heard some very mixed opinions about it, from very good ones to people even claiming it’s ‘problematic’.. So I started this series purely because I wanted to see if it’s really that bad and I’m so glad I did because I absolutely loved it. I must admit that the first episode is the worst episode of all, some things that are said are indeed a bit problematic and made me question whether or not I should continue this series but I did as judging by just one episode would be quite unfair. Once you get to episode 2 the series gets so much better and it actually made me laugh out loud several times.

“Being skinny doesn’t mean shit if you’re ugly on the inside”

I saw several people on Twitter complaining saying the series is really offending towards heavier people, I personally strongly disagree. Yes sure the fat suit Debby Ryan (the actress playing Patty) is wearing isn’t very realistic but you see her in that suit for like 15 minutes during the first episode. I don’t think the serie fat shames at all as it’s clear during the several episodes that Patty isn’t happy at all even though she’s thin. She struggles a lot mentally and the road towards the pageant is with a lot of down moments for her, at some point she even relapses into her old eating habits (that part absolutely broke my heart to be honest) so the series really shows that eating disorders are hard to deal with. 

“I just.. Keep wishing I looked perfect.”

This series also handles sexuality very well. For example, Nonnie (Patty’s best friend) is in love with Patty but tries to fight those feelings back and Bob Armstrong (my favourite character) who’s actually married to a woman for years and has children, starts to realize he’s actually bisexual and is falling in love with a man.

I really loved to see the characters develop throughout the series, the drama in it is super high, which I loved, and it’s really hard to stop watching once you’re into it. Please do not stop watching after the first episode as it gets so so much better and I actually can’t wait for season 2.

Have you seen Insatiable? Did you love or hate it? Please let me know your opinion on it!


Céline. ❤